When it first sunk in that I really have cancer, all sorts
of resources, both physical and metaphysical, came to mind for how to best
support this process. Some of them I’m
doing, and others, not so much. But it
feels a little like I just added “Go through breast cancer” to an already
over-full TO DO list. Most of the rest
of my life hasn’t changed… I’m still doing everything I was doing before. Why wouldn’t I? I actually feel fine. I realize that will likely change with the
surgery next week, but up to this point or that day, I plan to go on feeling
good.
So, if the cancer is a harbinger of massive change in my
life, and I do believe it is, am I not honoring the process because I’m not
making time/space for it in my life? I
take it seriously, but our finances don’t allow me to stop doing what I’m doing
and take off. As I work on what self-care seems called for
in this moment, I wonder how to juggle it all.
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